A Drunken Account of a Crashed Ship - 07/06/20

June brushes her hair out of her eyes and wipes some blood off her face. “I need a drink and then I will tell you all about it”. She helps 404 move the corpse off the street and then heads to the Grim Pig. Beer in hand she tells the story of their thrilling adventures….. So our plan was to head to the shipwreck on the coast, pretty straightforward. Myself, Zhess, Bardrin and 404 went a long the coastal path early in the morning when we were ambushed by a group of Sahuagin. They had been hiding in a hole in the cliffside and while most were easily dispatched, inside the hole was a cleric who was not to be trifled with! That was until Bardrin harpooned it and smashed it on the rocks below. Bardrin and Zhess had previously fashioned a rope bridge to traverse a gap in the cliffside. Now whether the Sahuagin had tampered with it, or whether the saltwater had eroded it over time is unclear, however as soon as Bardrin stepped on it -it snapped in the middle. They were able to fashion a new one easily enough, but we should test it in future before walking across. We arrived at the point in the coast where we could see the shipwreck below. Bardrin had brought along a barrel and some pulleys which he rigged to allow us to safely move up and down the cliff (around 200ft drop). Of course we wanted to show up in style so instead of using this to get down, 404 used his magics and we all floated down and landed on the ship like complete badasses. We were expecting a welcome party, or at least some recognition of our cool entrance but instead the ship was fully crewed with…. skeletons who completely ignored us! (June finishes her beer and asks for another).

It was the strangest thing. They were all going about their business on the ship as if stuck in some kind of loop. We knew we were going to have to deal with them at some point but decided to get a layout of the ship and how many undead we may have to deal with. It was, as you would expect, full of crewmen all deceased but all going about their business, one shock was a skeletal zombie horse which almost knocked dear Zhess over!! Now as few of us had seen Skelton crew before in the mangroves and they carried on them a coin emblazoned with the Wave Wolf. Now this ship had markings on the side with ‘The W’ so we presumed that it was the vessel which had also carried these poor souls. We ventured to back of the ship, where we thought the captains quarters were. As soon as we entered a deathly voice echoed across the vessel (June gestures wildly and puts on a spooky voice) “Looks like meats back on the menu boys” and we could hear from all around us the crew awakening from their daze to attack! Inside the room there was a large table but all the cutlery was moving on it’s own…spooky. We started fighting what we thought was the captain….but they called out for the captain and our stomachs sank. Luckily Bardrin dispatched the presumably first mate with little effort and we prepared for the onslaught. (At this June breathes heavily ‘I’m going to need another drink’)

Nothing could have prepared us. She entered…the captain. A ghostly apparition through the wall. I only set eyes on her amazing pirate hat for one second before…she screamed (June screams for dramatic effect). I covered my ears and closed my eyes, just for a second!! When I opened them my compatriots…my friends…..lay unmoving at my feet. (June downs that beer and asks for another). I must admit I panicked. I like to have control on the battlefield and I felt out of my depths. The tactician in me would be ashamed as instead of running towards our healers, my instincts took over and I ran towards Zhess. I luckily had a small amount of sap that the Plips had given me and I was able to smooth this across his whiskers and paws which was enough to rouse him. (June hiccups and blinks a few times) Where was I….oh….yes. Zhess used the last of his healing potions to rouse Bardrin who then healed 404, so we were all up but looking rough. And with a bloody banshee and ship of zombies and skeletons to fight!! We decided to retreat into the room behind but haha…it was the size of a fucking teacup!!!! My face was pressed up against 404s chest and I swear Zhess’ tail kept getting in my eyes, but Bardrin managed to hold off the crew in the doorway while Zhess, 404 and myself took down the captain. As she began to disperse her voice rang out across the ship…”THE HAG”. Once she was down the crew froze….the battle won. We explored the ship a bit and found a few trinkets as well as a map which showed a natural harbour close by, likely their destination.

Now….here comes the fucked up bit. (June’s eyes are a little glassy now and her hand gestures larger). We went through the kitchen…well me and Bardrin did…and we heard a voice! Not like…a zombie banshee voice…but like…an actual voice. Bardrin was all…’Hi I’m Bardrin’ (puts on a dwarven accent) but I was all like…’that’s totally the sea hag’. Inside this room was like……..a lady dwarf. She said her name was…Gallia and she was from Geistholm. But like…there was no food and water in the room and a hole in the back she could have left out of and I was all….that’s a sea hag. We asked her a few questions and her answers were all…contradicting and shit… Well what could we do?! Kill her?! It was obvious she wasn’t who she said but…like…you can’t just go around killing people…am I right? So we let her follow us….like…if she was a sea hag…she wouldn’t be able to come through the step…right? WELL SHE DID COME THROUGH THE STEP!!! For like…one second I thought…oh my god…is this an actual dwarf? Bardrin’s gonna be so happy…. But Zhess….you know Zhess right…the fluffy tabaxi…..he pretty cool…well… he was all (does Zhess voice) “GUARDS” and then like……the lady dwarf….who I thought was a sea hag….she like….transforms!!! And guys….man….if you could have seen her…..she had tantacles coming out of like….here…and here….and her face was all like….open and ….like….some gross shit came out her face and….it was just…you know…disturbing. So turns out she was not a sea hag but….not sure what she was. We killed her pretty quick….but I think it shook Bardrin up a bit….cus you know….dwarves.